[thinuse]

I really tried to come up with a good one to go along with "August" like the "Madness de Mayo" one a few months ago, but it's so hard to come up with good alliteration with the letter A. If you have one, feel free to post it and I'll steal it ASAP.

Regardless, as is my unofficial job here at the Hammer, I present to you the August lineup for CHIKARA. This way folks like myself and Tauron Nox can talk about how awesome matches with ants and ice cream and goats are while people wonder what the hell is wrong with us. That's the fun of it all, really.

Anyway, to the lineups!



CHIKARA "All That Glitters"
August 9, 2008 at the Berks County Stadium in Reading, PA
1. Main Event Title Match: Incoherence (Delirious and Hallowicked) [c] vs Sea Donsters (Hydra and Tim Donst)
2. Rematch from July!: Mike Quackenbush vs Shane Storm
3. Time for Workers' Compensation!: Worker Ant vs Vin Gerard
4. Accion de Trios!: Las Chivas Rayadas and Lince Dorado vs Team FIST (Gran Akuma, Chuck Taylor and Icarus)
5. First Time Ever!: Super Smash Bros. (Player Uno and Stupefied) vs The Osirian Portal (Ophidian and Amasis)
6. One on One: Fire Ant vs Jimmy Olsen
Also Appearing: Eddie Kingston, Ultimo Breakfast, Brodie Lee and more...



CHIKARA "Vanity and Violence"
August 10, 2008 at the Forman Mills Sporting Complex in Philadelphia, PA
1. For the Young Lions Cup: Vin Gerard [c] vs Drake Younger
2. 6-Man Tag Team Action!: Claudio Castagnoli, Delirious and Hallowicked vs Brodie Lee, Ophidian and Amasis
3. Glutton for Punishment?: Eddie Kingston vs Lince Dorado
4. Trios Explosion: Mike Quackenbush and The Sea Donsters (Hydra and Tim Donst) vs Ultramantis Black, Crossbones and Dr. Cube
5. Accion de Parejas: Super Smash Bros. (Player Uno and Stupefied) [0] vs Team FIST (Icarus and Gran Akuma) [0]
6. Tag Team Warfare: Bobby Dempsey and Sara del Rey [2] vs Mitch Ryder and Buck Hawke [0]
7. Former YLC Champs Collide: Fire Ant vs Chuck Taylor
8. First Time Clash: Las Chivas Rayadas vs Los Ice Creams
9. One on One: Worker Ant vs Jimmy Olsen

[jd]

August's Awesome Attraction?

Nah.

How about August À La Mode?

[thinuse]

Really, it wouldn't be a Reading show without a defense of the Campeonatos de Parejas...and who better than CHIKARA's new tag team that's taken the world by storm (with a new snazzy name), SEA DONSTERS?

[Itchy Stevenson]

August amongst the Assholes!

[Tauron Nox]

Sea Donsters is OK, but I think they could have done better. There are a ton of Marty Kroft jokes to be made with that team.

[thinuse]

Fuck that, Sea Donsters is one of the few good "Hollywood couple" tag team names that have come around. Right up there with BEER MONEY~! in TNA. Hell of a lot better than "Kel Steenerico", that's for sure.

[Tauron Nox]

My Pet Monster?

[maddogms]

Donster Squad

[Tauron Nox]

maddogms wrote:

Donster Squad

BEST

NAME

EVER

[Buff Bagwell]

Buff will be making an appearence at this show.

[Arakihc]

Hydronst is still my fav, probally because that's the name I came up with.

[thinuse]

Well, quite the busy day today.

Added to Reading:



Also, hints to the schedule through October were added to the site:

Quote:

"Style and Substance" Sunday, September 7th Philadelphia, PA "The Artistic Pursuit of Being Yourself" Saturday, September 20th "Chicago Area", IL "Laying in the Gutter, Looking at the Stars" Sunday, September 21st Bellefontaine, OH

I'm very curious as to what the Global Gauntlet will be, as it seems to be replacing the October staple of the Cibernetico. I'm assuming it will be some sort of a CHIKARA vs International series, but who knows? Whatever it is, the fact that they're hyping it so early is a cue to expect big things soon...

[CtotheC]

thinuse wrote:

Regardless, as is my unofficial job here at the Hammer, I present to you the August lineup for CHIKARA. This way folks like myself and Tauron Nox can talk about how awesome matches with ants and ice cream and goats are while people wonder what the hell is wrong with us. That's the fun of it all, really.

Hey lets not leave out the steroid freak Hydra, the various unholy creatures and the occasional cow. Moscow is God.

[Tauron Nox]

CtotheC wrote:

thinuse wrote: Regardless, as is my unofficial job here at the Hammer, I present to you the August lineup for CHIKARA. This way folks like myself and Tauron Nox can talk about how awesome matches with ants and ice cream and goats are while people wonder what the hell is wrong with us. That's the fun of it all, really. Hey lets not leave out the steroid freak Hydra, the various unholy creatures and the occasional cow. Moscow is God.

MosCow is dead. And Hydra is dead to me.

As for unholy, I guess that would depend on your persepctive.

[Kudo Driver]

Tauron Nox wrote:

MosCow is dead.

Long live Ultimo Breakfast.

[Tauron Nox]

Kudo Driver wrote:

Tauron Nox wrote: MosCow is dead. Long live Ultimo Breakfast.

That went over easy.

[thinuse]

From the official CHIKARA blog - Claudio wants Mitch Ryder on August 9th!

Quote:

7/17/2008: I'm not a man of many words, so let me get straight to the point - Mitch Ryder, I want you in the ring at the next CHIKARA event! You did more than just stick your nose in my business at "Tragedy and Triumph" ... that's a big mistake unto itself! For those who were there, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Mitch Ryder crossed the line when he shot a fireball directly into my face! I've spent the last few days imagining how exactly I'm going to get even with you Mitch, and if I'm simmering now, I'll be boiling by the time I see you next. I've been attacked in many different ways since becoming a professional wrestler. I've been hit with chairs, I've been driven through tables, I've had people try to manipulate me, mess with my head and so forth. But I've never crossed paths with someone so desperate for my attention that they would throw fire at my face! Burning my facial hair and skin is no laughing matter. If you wanted to get my attention, you deranged lunatic, you've got it. Whatever bargain you and Brodie have struck won't protect you from me. It's an old wrestling cliche to say things are personal now - but this is beyond personal. I know you've been everywhere and wrestled against the best of the best. But you've never faced me one-on-one! Did they teach you the expression "quid pro quo" down in Memphis, Mitch? Let me simplify it for you: You hurt me and now I'm gonna hurt you! So on Saturday, August 9th, put your money where your raspy voice is and face me in the ring - if you dare. CC

[Skip McGee]

thinuse wrote:

From the official CHIKARA blog - Claudio wants Mitch Ryder on August 9th!

well he is the winner of the old lions cup

[thinuse]

Live on location from...wherever the hell Vin Gerard lives, I guess:

[Tauron Nox]

That video is amazing, and confirms everyone's suspensions about where Vin must live.

Of course, there is only one acceptable result for this match, and that is a victorious Drake and mostly dead Vin.

[thinuse]

Nothing will glitter for the trio of sloppy working fake Mexicans in Reading, as they take on Team FIST. Akuma will certainly kick all of them in the face and send them packing, and it will rule.

[FlairFanatic]

Whomever got this shot, should get a gold metal. Awesome fucking photography.

The Sloppy Chivas hopefully will get there act together in Redding!

[enforcer]

Mitch Ryder just got 1000x times more awesome after seeing that pic.

[Who enjoys Family Circus?]

Claudio hates the elderly.

[thinuse]

Philadelphia gets:



Holy crap.

Ho. Lee. Crap.